take me by the hand,
lead me astray,
make me forget who i am,
help me go deaf,
teach me to be mute,
tie my feet to the ground,
let the water rise to my throat,
its you i want
its the seed you left behind
its the roots that want more
come back to me
-i miss a certain ex
Playing shutes and ladders in my mind
gosh when your angry, no one ever lives up to your expectations, this is coming from someone whos open to seeing their mistakes. driving like a fucking maniac down the fwy as if i was riding in a sports car with 100% crash survival rate. ugh its not like a shitty fucking day to make you live a little. usually you have to push and let go of yourself to live when in reality just go have a crappy day or get in a verbal fight with someone like yourself, no one but yourself can impress you, no one but yourself can break you. i was thinking about a story to metaphorically explain how my mind functions and wow, i wonder if im a pyschopath or just a moron. i cant give myself too much credit with pyschopathic behavior. i believe even a true pyschopath would slap me and say, you know you have bigger problems than i do.
its funny, when you drink enough you forget why your mad.
when you drink too much, you tend to remember many more things that made you mad. hmm maybe that means i need to drink some more.
its almost as if im digging a hole in the middle of the night. with a younger version of myself. i tell him, keep digging, well find what were looking for. just keep digging. my younger self replies, were digging through concrete….
my older self snaps, dont be a bitch just keep digging
my younger self says, well why are we digging through concrete?
my older self says, to get closer to what were looking for.
my younger self says, well what are we looking for?
my older self stops to wipe the sweat off his forehead, look you little shit if we knew that we wouldnt be digging, we would just process what we found, now shut up and keep digging i have to pee.
my younger self says, you know i know im little but im not stupid, i know that no one takes 8 pee breaks in 4 mins
my older self says from afar, just keep digging and what the hell do you know about that?
my younger self says, because im you
my older self says, but your younger me so how would you actually know what it is?
my younger self sarcastically replies, because i am you therefore i know
my older self says, eat shit
my younger self says, i think i found what were looking for!
my older self runs over wiping his nose of white powder hollering, sweet what did you find!?
my younger self takes the shovel and hits my older self over the head and drags him into the 7 ft whole he practically dung himself and begins to bury his older self.
If only i knew how old this older self really was, maybe id be able to guess the age of my death.
idk, thinking about how i deal with problems is kinda pathetic, even for me. when shit gets bad enough for me to believe i need to drink myself to death, i come to the conclusion im a little bitch who cant take anything. driving at 67 mph down the 30 mph zone just to get closer to that edge we like to consider, Living on the edge is a tad too close to your just a fucking moron.
eh just fuck it all, i need another fucking beer
Over my body
So wrong never felt so comforting
I can speak thousands of words to describe what it means to be no where
looking out to the blue sky
the gray clouds and birds
3 stories never felt so high
arms and legs never felt so useless
so much wrong never felt so comforting
in every up there is a down
in ever down theres a lower
and in every lower there is a new wisdom
based on despairity and hope
when we drown we all float
so let it all in
when we jump off we begin to fly
so close your eyes and imagine whatever you stopped feeling that led you to this point. this is your cycle that you can get stuck with for the rest of your hearts existence.
The surface is white and blue with eons of integrity
Existing hasnt changed
As an ape, we believe we control how we exist
Climbing trees and eating leaves
Walk on our feet and throwing feces
We arent much different than similar
Tip toe and dance across me with your feet on fire
Your hair moves through the wind like a dancer on the dance floor
Your smile strikes me with less than a good intention
This bridge appears to be fire proof since I still hold you high
Was it me or was it you who decided to continue
You choose to dance til I burn
The only thing keeping this bridge up is the hope
That you fall off
Sugar Pills and Caffeine
I use to think I needed you to get by
Our definition of happiness is wide
But the road is narrow
Narrow like you, something you just cant hide
Maybe one of us should go and the other stay behind
Maybe one of us will glow and the other with die
Maybe one of us lied and the other still got by
Sugar pills and caffeine wont be the death of me
It did a better job being you when I needed it
Sugar pills and caffeine last longer than you ever would
You stay behind and reassure me by reassuring yourself
That it ended when I left and it got better when you begun
But the ocean stays true
Nothing like you, something you cant prescribe
Sugars pills and caffeine may not be what I need
I admit to addiction and your affliction
Sugar pills and caffeine does the job you could never do
Simple smiles and a swiftly beating heart
make my blood race and my skin tingle
Sugar and You, the given ratio stands at
A huge fucking rock and a plastic flower we though would last forever
The hand that gave the flower holds the love
The plastic flower was just a fucking plastic flower
But I have 6 more sugar pills and there’s a cute girl at starbucks at 4pm today